I had an essay lecture, Torts, and family law this week. I managed to get all caught up with my assignments, but then I fell behind today because I didn't get any work done because it was my mommy's birthday. But it was worth it. I'll just work harder tomorrow to get caught up.
As I may have mentioned, the class is at the Atlantis. So usually we're in these conference rooms near the arcade, which is fine because we can't really hear the arcade. Well on Weds. they moved us to another room on the other side of the hotel....overlooking the casino floor....right next to the stage.
That was a problem. One "wall" was not really a wall, but pretty much all windows covered by these wooden slats, almost like big wooden blinds. Well they did nothing to deafen the sound.
So all during the lecture, we could hear the lousy cover band singing. Terrible.
I called the next day and complained to Barbri. Absolutely unacceptable that we pay that much and they can't secure the same room for us. I mean, we're there for almost 2 months and the Atlantis can't just keep us in the same room.
It was definitely annoying, but not that detrimental because it was an essay workshop, so I didn't really have to listen intently to take notes. But if we're ever in there again, I'm going to flip out.
I have more quotes. The Torts professor was hilarious. I loved the guy. Unfortunately with all the stories he told and the wild hypotheticals, class was almost 4 hours each day. BOOOO! And I miss grandma cheryl because I had class. I hate this stupid bar exam.
No matter what people say, I think NV has a harder bar exam than California. We have 9 essays to CA's 8. We have way more topics that are covered that CA doesn't. It's such BS.
Anywho, I'm gonna get to bed so I can get up early and study. Enjoy the quotes from Torts, Community Property, and Family Law: As usual, my favorites are bolded.
Community Property
1. What’s your bitch man, he left you his entire estate?
2. The case involved Barry Bonds, I’m not sure but I think he’s a baseball player.
3. Relying on a law professor, always a stupid thing to do.
4. I went to law school because I couldn’t handle algebra
5. capitalization of excess earnings – whatever the hell that means
Torts
1. I have issues about my shoulders, just don’t touch my shoulders.
2. Don’t touch me, you’ve deeply offended me and I’m going to sue.
3. Normal people find tapping on the shoulder to be acceptable touching.
4. I’m pretty sure that’s the kind of touching that’s not acceptable.
5. What the hell is that, that’s battery city. We don’t pet each other
6. She’s like a creature of mythology – half woman, half horse.
7. Ooh, those devious bastards!
8. If you leave this room, I’m going to blow up the planet Jupiter.
9. Yes he could get out. But in order to get out, he’d have to suffer a few rodent
bites to be on his merry way.
10. How do they write the bar exam questions? They sit around a big conference table and then drop tabs of acid. And then they get flashbacks. “Hey, you remember that game Clue………”
11. You get on the NY City Subway and there’s a guy sitting across from you with a severed human head. What do you do? You don’t make eye contact. Continue playing suduko and if he throws the head at you, throw it back.
12. Here’s a NY insult in case you ever need one – “I used to have a shirt like that and then my father got a job.”
13. You were having the best erotic dream. There was synthesizer music, people wearing billowing robes, and animals are everywhere. Oh, did I say that out loud?
14. They’re supposed to carry your luggage and kiss your ass, not insult you.
15. I’m not suggesting that all elderly people are incontinent. Only when you get in their face and are mean to them.
16. Elderly people ARE incontinent – go to the drug store. There’s a whole aisle devoted to that concept.
17. Pregnant women….I have no hypos. Just imagine people being mean to pregnant women.
18. My whole family was killed by snakes
19. What the hell is up with defibrillators? Haven’t they figured out how much
electricity to use the first time?
20. The entire office smells like an open pit barbecue from the burning chest flesh.
21. Bar examiners are fascinated with hats, so hats often come to grief on the exam.
22. 13 year olds can’t consent to sex. If this is news to anyone, please see me after class. We need to have a chat about your social life.
23. They have an awkward breakfast of cold cereal and instant coffee
24. What the hell? You invite the guy to watch the game and he ends up in the attic. Stay the hell in the family room. Stay out of the attic.
25. That was one rude looking honker on your face.
26. Bad doctor, very naughty doctor.
27. Timmy was Lassie’s owner and June Lockhart was his mom and you have no idea what
the hell I’m talking about because the show went off the air in 1968.
28. And next week, Timmy would fall down another well. Because these people had 80 wells on their property and Timmy has an unnatural attraction to wells.
29. I just shot Lassie and Timmy knows the next time he goes out to play, he’s a dead man.
30. He’s gonna sue you for conversion of the dog. What’s he gonna do? Sue you for putting a yamaka on the dog? Throwing some holy water on him?
31. You have syphilis; I can see that by looking at you. You might want to get that taken care of.
32. The fact that mother’s cover the eyes of their children when they pass you on the street is not legally relevant
33. If married people couldn’t defame the neighbors, what the hell else are they going to talk about?
34. A reasonably prudent person would arrange for the plants to be watered and the pets to be fed when they go out of town. I don’t. I go on the road for two weeks and come home and find a skeleton of a cat in the kitchen. And then I think “Aww! Fluffy….I’ll have to change your name now. I’ll call you Boney”
Torts Part II
1. Billy runs over Susie’s widdle bitty hand. Susie sues widdle Billy’s ass because she wants some cash.
2. Your intellectual curisosity has been beaten out of you.
3. I’m doing whatever one does on a tractor. I don’t know what that is, I’m from New York.
4. You ignorant slut, you blew up my apartment.
5. Don’t do drugs…..Well, let me say this. If you are on drugs, stay on them until the Bar. Now is not the time to go to rehab. Wait until August and then get some
help.
6. My people don’t hunt, we go to the deli.
Family Law
1. I’m thinking coitus
2. There’s Harry, sitting on the bed in Pampers, holding a bottle of Wesson oil. She has grounds for an annulment.
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